The reality is that most couples argue. It’s natural to disagree about things, and a couple that argues isn’t uncommon by any means.
However, when arguments turn into fights, and fights turn into violence, a dangerous pattern of abuse can develop. There are four primary types of abuse, or intimate partner violence, all of which are unhealthy for you and your partner.
According to the Planned Parenthood Web site, the four main types of abuse found in relationships are verbal, emotional, sexual, and physical.
Verbal abuse Verbally abusive relationships can be just as harmful as any other kind of abusive relationship. A healthy relationship is one that is based on mutual respect and kindness. Demeaning one another using hurtful words or making threats of violence are just a couple examples of verbal abuse. Constant blaming and lying are other ways in which one can verbally abuse their partners.
Emotional abuse Jealous and controlling are not characteristics of partners in healthy relationships. In a healthy relationship, couples should listen to one another’s needs and respect each other’s space. Emotional abuse can occur when your partner doesn’t allow you to have time alone with friends or family, constantly checks up on you, controls your finances, and disregards your feelings, needs or desires.
Sexual abuse Unfortunately many people still fall victim to the misguided assumption that you cannot be raped or sexually assaulted by your intimate partner. This is absolutely false. Whether or not you are in a relationship, no always means no. Unwanted sexual contact from your partner is definitely a sign of a sexually abusive relationship.
In a healthy relationship, couples respect each other’s limits, desires, and sexual health. Forcing you to have any kind of intercourse without protecting yourself against unwanted pregnancy or sexually-transmitted disease is sexual abuse. You should never feel as though you have to engage in any activity that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Physical abuse Let’s get one thing straight: violence solves nothing. This is especially true in relationships. Physical abuse includes hitting, punching, shoving, restraining, or any other use of physical force. Violent outbursts, throwing objects, and damaging your personal belongings are other examples of physical abuse. A physically abusive relationship should never be tolerated. Your own health and safety should be a top priority.
Consequences of abuse There are many long and short-term consequences of intimate partner violence. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the longer the abuse takes place, more serious are the health consequences suffered by the victim.
The most serious consequence that can occur as a result of intimate partner violence is death. Statistically, more women are murdered as a result of abusive relationships than men. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, “About one third of female murder victims were killed by an intimate (partner).”
Other serious consequences include minor injuries, sexually-transmitted diseases, heart conditions, pregnancy difficulties, drug or alcohol abuse, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, post-traumatic stress disorder, lack of trust and antisocial behaviors. Where to go for help: If you find yourself in an abusive relationship or if you believe you are a victim of intimate partner violence, there are many resources available.