Approaching the end of the decade, it is time for couples to evaluate the state of their marriage relationship.Go bravely into the next 10 years with a better sense of where you stand. It is like a 50,000-mile checkup for your car, because you don't want to get caught on Alligator Alley with any surprises. Preventive maintenance beats a breakdown, humiliating tow truck, and catastrophic repairs every time.

Most people know more about what is under the hood of their car than they do the inner workings of their marriage. That is why I am appealing to the technologist/ mechanic in each of you. People these days, since the advent of automotive mania, understand terminology that sounds like new car advertisements: good mileage, high resale value and low monthly payments. I would probably get more readership if I placed this column in Car and Driver magazine.

Maybe you think you have a smooth-running, well-oiled marriage, but that's because you probably drive around in denial. I knew a doctor who never changed his oil, and wondered why his car let him down. He just started over with a newer model. He should have known better.

So, I am here to tell you a few things that you might want to attend to, if you really want to get the most mileage out of your relationship. Personally, I tend to keep my cars for a long time, and I don't believe in leasing, because it makes it seem like I'm not really committed to the quality of my car.

Someplace along the way, my wife reminded me (trying to speak my new idiom) that the warranty on female subservience was running out. Chances of holding on to the old, traditional husband/wife roles are about as great as finding a Hudson Hornet with only 10,000 miles on it.

Just as I do with couples who bring their marriage in for emergency service, I think everybody should look at three or four systems in the complex machinery of a sustained marriage relationship.

For example, what is the comfort level of your relationship? On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the most comfortable you have ever been (remember?) with each other, how would each of you now rate the predominate atmosphere between you. Low scores suggest tension. If you each read the level differently, it is something to discuss and maybe you are ready for a self-administered tune-up.